I write you this from a portal of transformation, but then again, change is a constant I’ve found tremendously grounding processing life on this planet.
I’ve had the opportunity to travel recently, and in these travels have found so many moments of deep resounding lessons arriving in my lap. The first being that I am enough and my labor has value whether or not it is quantifiable within the systems of capitalism. In the past I have been hard on myself and releasing judgement around my work and my recent relationship with finances that this month has brought a lot of grace to me. If you’ve read any of my past emails to you you KNOW.
Currently I am face to face with my relationship with imagination. What initiated it for me were matters of the heart. Of romance. My imagination is ACTIVE! But I’ve found that it becomes hyperactive in the form of daydreams that take me to places that I receive the exciting romantic and sexual intimacy I crave in the physical world. This has been the case for a very long time. In relationship to many things good, bad, and everything in between, I’ve been able to experience loads of experiences in the realms of my own mind.
I don’t really know what life is like to close my eyes and see darkness. I am extremely visual. Clairvoyant. Imaginative. And I’m currently processing times in which these travelings have taken me away from the present. Tugging my heart in directions it did not need to go. And very simply, times in which I’ve prioritized entertaining relationships with cis men. Men who have been nice. Have shared kind words, or not. Men who are strangers. The ideas of men have taken up space even in the realms of my brain when thinking about what is even possible for me in love.
Let me be clear. I don’t mind cis men. I am still attracted to them. The ones who are great truly are. Though my relationships with them across all spectrums: sexual, platonic, romantic, familial, and working have been informed by so much imbalanced labor. With me doing a lot more than them emotionally, spiritually, and always initiating communication about these things separately and in relationship to each other. Coupled with the fact that they are EVERYWHERE and allowed to take up so much space in every environment they are in, I do feel like I’m swimming through and endless sea of men in hopes to find the queer oasis where the cuties are at.
I know that there is so much more. I’ve experienced enough romance and intimacy outside of my proximity to cis men to know, that I am even so much more expansive than the current reach of my subconscious imagination. How easily my brain slips between realms for the most brief illusionary romantic snack when in my physical world I feel so famished for sustenance. Craving tender morsels of romance to tide me over until my table at the buffet of non platonic partnerships finally becomes open for me to sit, enjoy, be nourished.
Between my wild imagination and my intentions to experience love in this way I have recently opened a door down a path to training my imaginative muscles. The power of my ability to channel and pull through realities in my mind into the physical is strong! And I truly wish during this cycle to hone in with hawk like precision the skill to think clearly and with INTENT!
This is a strong prayer percolating under this filling moon. Im curious what is bubbling over in your pot, calling your attention to it?
May it be well seasoned and abundant during this next cycle! I’ll share some updates and resources below pertaining to this past month.
Xo Jordiana
My sale is still up in my store! Check it out, mostly everything is discounted.
This is a Grant website for artists I’ve been using this past month to find some pretty interesting things to apply for! Check it out. They post new ones for every month.
CHIRON made it into the official selection for Rio Webfest 2022 in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil! Check it out if you haven’t already.